I was relaxing this afternoon when [the Hunter] Wootan came along to tell me about a couple events he recently had encountered.
The first one is a story about a new hunter who wanted to challenge Wootan for his girl and the other involved a confrontation with a couple of brandeds.
The following record is what he related to me of those events:
Hobbz: So, tell me about the first situation.
Wootan: I spotted Unnr standing outside the healer’s hut talking to Irk, and knowing how highly prized the Natives are, I decided to down her and bring her back to the Stabbin’ Cabin. Well, some new hunter decided he might try his hand at downing Wootan and taking his prize. Oh nay nay! Mama grizzlies have NOTHING on ole Wootan when you come between him and his prey! I threw 7 arrows in him quite suddenly and he seemed to be lagging, so I spared him; figuring my point had been made.
Hobbz: ::raises an eyebrow, drawn into the story:: Nice. How did that go?
Wootan: Well, apparently I hadn’t anticipated just how much he wanted the little pixie healer, because he followed us back to the Forest. I stopped to catch my breath after the extended run, and arrows began to fly at me and my prey. I quickly took her inside the cabin and locked her in, then went out to deal with the horny hunter waiting outside. I quickly downed him once again but realized his health should have been much lower, because it took several hits to knock him down. As he lay there unconscious, I told him that he was trespassing on private ground and that he should leave immediately. He must have been using some sort of magic again, because he suddenly disappeared! I had more important things to attend to, so I resigned myself back to the cabin where my beautiful prize was waiting.
Hobbz: Well, it sounds like you took care of the situation.
Wootan: Not quite. I noticed someone outside again. I opened the door and walked out, bow drawn, and approached the hunter. I informed him that the use of magic to avoid dying will get him banned. I went on to explain that I would not turn him in to the authorities because he was new to this world, and that he should take full advantage of my kindness and leave the area immediately. Luckily, for him, he complied and did not return.
Oh, and I successfully seeded the little healer this time and she is now with child. YAY!
((Wootan – I approached him later in the market and explained in more detail what his infractions were. He was apologetic and said he would not repeat this behavior))
Hobbz: ::laughs:: Well done, brother! Now tell me about this other episode. You seem rather worked up about it.
Wootan: I was sitting outside my cabin with my beautiful property, Mini Bumblefoot, when I noticed two red feathered girls standing on the ridge behind Kaze’s cabin. They had already warned me that I was going to forfeit my life for taking the aforementioned healer the day before. I decided to take matters in my own hands and go on the attack, rather then be weakened by a surprise assault. I headed up the back side of the ridge and fired an arrow at Keren. Without hesitation she and Luly came at me from two sides. I fought bravely, keeping myself in between the two of them as much as I could, hoping they’d inadvertently hit each other in the crossfire. I nearly downed Keren, but the assault became more than I could handle as I fell to my knees at the top of their beloved ridge.
Hobbz: They downed the fearless Wootan? It looks like you managed to live. How did you manage to get out with your life?
Wootan: They quickly disarmed me, throwing my bow over the ridge, and taking my dart gun as a souvenir. I thought they may be showing mercy, because I did not die immediately. Keren took my dart gun and began licking it with her tongue as Luly did some sort of native red feather dance over my limp body.
When I was able to rise to my feet, I was ordered to sit down as Keren had her bow drawn on me. Here is where it gets interesting: Keren began rubbing her bare breasts on my back as I was forced to stay on the ground and forbidden to react. Any sudden moves on my part would surely result in my untimely death. She then began to run her tongue up the back of my neck and bit my ear! I couldn’t think of a worse position to be in. I have these two beautiful, yet deadly Brandeds taunting me, daring me to try to recover my weapons as I sat there helpless.
To make matters worse, Keren put my dart gun in her mouth and began licking its length…taunting me even more. Then she ran it down her breasts slowly….ultimately stopping at her mommy parts. She inserted it slightly and left it there….as I was forced to watch!
Hobbz: ::eyes widen, speechless:: wow….
Wootan: Shortly thereafter, she threw the dart gun on the ground at me feet as they both scurried away, laughing hysterically. I have never felt so humiliated in all my life! I tell you, my brothers….they almost broke me.
Fortunately, as I recovered my weapons I noticed a beautiful prey girl running nearby, downed her, and gave her a good rogering. Hopefully there will be yet another pregnant girl waddling through the fields as a result.
These events are hereby recorded and entered into my report.
~ Hobbz Tigerpaw